cops and suspects

I have always tried to convey in my writing what a cop thinks when dealing with people. Below is a list of things people say to cops and what the cop thinks.

What the person says ________________________________________________ What the officer thinks

I’m not going to lie to you officer—————————————-Here comes a lie
I’m not going to make excuses for what my son did———————–Here comes an excuse
I only had two beers————————————–He had two six-packs and lost count after that
I swear to God I didn’t do it————————————-He did it
I know the sheriff——————————————-The sheriff’s written him three speeding tickets
I see the sheriff often———————————————————-three times last month
This is the first time I’ve driven since my license was suspended———-I’m the first one to catch you
I’m really sorry for what I did—————————–You’re really sorry you got caught
This speeding ticket should teach me to slow down————————You think I’m a moron
It’s a good lesson for me——————————You think my mother’s a moron
I’ll watch the speedometer closer from now on———————-and my little dog, too

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About thewritingdeputy

Joel Jurrens was a deputy sheriff for 26 years until he retired in 2013. He has published three novels: In The Sticks, Graves of His Personal Liking and County Ops: The Vengeance of Gable Fitzgerald. He tries to keep his blog light and humorous and sometimes downright silly.
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