!cid_B972A521DDE74A1192808C90398A47E6@JurrensPCWhen I was in high school I wrestled in the 155 pound weight class. To make that weight I ate one meal a day and didn’t drink anything the day before a wrestling meet. After I had weighed in before school the morning of a meet, I would eat a grocery bag full of food and drink a six-pack of soda. During the day, anything that didn’t move I ate—come to think of it, even a few things that did move. I also drank enough fluids to fill a swimming pool. By the time of the meet that night I weighed around 207. I know that doesn’t seem fair, but I was probably the smallest 155 pounder in the conference, because everyone else did the same thing. It wasn’t so much about wrestling back then as it was about how much weight you could put on in a twelve-hour period.

I recently looked up my BMI (Body Mass Index). If I weighed 155 pounds today I would be right in the middle of where I should be for my height. If I would stop eating today, in six months I would be dead. Six months later, I might weigh 155 pounds if the embalming job was crappy and enough of me had rotted away. Otherwise I will never see 155 again. One time I went totally insane and got down to 178, which made me only three pounds overweight by my BMI. The biggest comment I got from everyone was, “How long does the doctor give you?”

I know I should lose weight and I do try. I once tried an exercise program. It didn’t work. I got up every morning and watched the women on ESPN lift weights in their bikinis while I ate my donuts. Never lost a pound. I heard an interview once of a marathon runner who was retiring. They asked him what he would miss the most about competitive running? His answer: all the friends he had gotten to know over the years that he would no longer see on a regular basis. What would he miss the least? Answer: the dieting. THE DIETING? This guy runs like 15 bizillion miles a day and he has to watch what he eats? What chance does a fat old guy like me have? I could watch exercise programs all day and not lose any weight.

I think if you’d looked into it, you would find that BMI started out as a joke. Some fat guy in his basement came up with this chart. He put it in an email. It went viral and the rest is history. He’s been laughing his chubby butt off ever since.

The Writing Deputy


About thewritingdeputy

Joel Jurrens was a deputy sheriff for 26 years until he retired in 2013. He has published three novels: In The Sticks, Graves of His Personal Liking and County Ops: The Vengeance of Gable Fitzgerald. He tries to keep his blog light and humorous and sometimes downright silly.
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