She’s right, it was her yesterday, but she can’t figure that out because she has the brains of an eggplant—and I’m not talking a top-of-its-class, valedictorian eggplant. To her everything might be a rabbit: a clump of dirt might be a rabbit; a pile of leaves might be a rabbit; a blade of grass might be a tall, skinny, green rabbit. The only way she knows for sure is by charging full speed at it to see if it hops away. I’ve only taken her for walks for the last six years so she hasn’t figured out yet that she’s on a leash. She hits the end of the leash at full speed, popping my arm out of its socket and flipping her backward. Slowly she gets up and looks at me.
And then she sees it: THE LITTLE DOG IS IN THE LEAD!!
Now she runs to get ahead of the little dog, hits the end of the leash, flips onto her back, pops my arm out …
The return home is even better. I get them turned around, and now the little dog is in even a bigger hurry, because the stupid human took us down the wrong road. So now we have to backtrack, and we’re going to be REALLY late. They won’t wait for us, and we’ll miss the soup and salad, and the show will already be started. She strains at the end of her leash, her claws digging into the pavement as she tries to hurry us up..
The big dog has been through this before. She loves walks and never wants them to end. My wife and I could tag team taking her for walks and she’d never get enough. The Airedale knows when we turn around it means we’re going home and the walk is going to end. So she sulks. She lags behind until she hits the end of her leash. Taking her for a walk turns into taking her for a drag.
So here I am on a lonely country road with a little dog out on in front on the end of its leash straining to hurry up, and a big dog way behind at the end of its leash straining not to go. If it were the opposite way with the big dog wanting to get home and the little one lagging behind, I could just tie the ends of the leashes together and let the big one pull the little one home–I wouldn’t even have to be there. As it is I end up pulling the big one up to me then letting the little one go out to the end of both leashes, and then pulling up the big one and letting the little one go out. We head slowly toward home like some giant inchworm, until the big dog sees a REAL RABBIT!.
IN THE STICKS Graves $3.99 COUNTY OPS
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