WRITING A REVIEW

In The Lake-WEB
Recently there has been a scandal in the writing world. An author was exposed for paying a company to post almost five thousand glowing reviews of his book on Amazon. The reason he did it is because it works. He sold over a million copies of his book. Since then it has been revealed that numerous authors have paid companies to post fake reviews for them. I would never do that. I have ethics, integrity, pride and about a buck sixty-three in my pocket—I’m not sure that much would get me even a one-star review.
I don’t think readers are aware how much a good review can do or even a mediocre review. People don’t want to be the first one to dip their toe in the water when it comes to a new author. They don’t mind being duped into doing something stupid, like buying a bad book, as long as they know there are a lot of other people who were also—it’s how they are able to sell so much bottled water.
When I have a book come out, I have a few friends who automatically read it and post a review on Amazon. I get a few people who write reviews who I don’t know at all. I appreciate all of them. Occasionally I’ll meet someone at a book signing or on the street who will say, “I read your book.” Then there’s that pause that lasts at least three hours when I wait for them to throw up or say, “I really liked it.” If they liked it, I’ll ask them if they could write a review to put on Amazon. Normally they look at me like I just asked them to give themselves an appendectomy, without anesthetic, blindfolded while wearing leather mittens without thumbs.
I know writing a review is tough for the average person. Writing a few sentences and then posting it where everyone can see it, takes some courage. (Now try writing seventy thousand or so words, putting them in book form and making people pay to read it, and you can began to see what it’s like being a writer.) But if you like a book, anyone’s book not just mine (but especially mine) write a review. You will be doing the author a HUGE favor. If you think a book stinks, write a review. You will be doing some reader a HUGE favor.
I have a book, In The Lake, coming out next month. I would like anyone who reads it and likes it to write a review. Even if you don’t like it, a review would be nice. (The guy who bought the reviews mixed a sprinkling of bad reviews in so they would seem more realistic.) For those of you who don’t know what to write, I am putting a sample review below. You don’t need to copy it word for word, but I think you’ll get the idea.

SAMPLE REVIEW

In The Lake is absolutely the best book ever written since the beginning of time. I believe it should win the Pulitzer Prize, the Nobel Prize, the Daytona 500 and the Kentucky Derby. Not only is it a great murder mystery with dead AND live people, but it has fishing in it—how can you not like a book that has fishing in it? I also believe the book has magical powers. I was hardly through the first chapter when the hair started to grow back on my head, and I’ve been bald since I was eleven. By midway through the book, I had lost eighty-three pounds and my persistent boil problem had gone away. So now, because of the book, I’m thin, good-looking and there’s flowing blond hair growing on my head, back and Chihuahua Poopsy. I also heard—don’t quote me, because it’s not official—that they are going to stick a check for seventy-three bazillion dollars between the pages of one of the paperback books. (Let’s just keep that our little secret.) So read the book because it’s yummy good.
Starting this Friday, the 24th, my book County Ops: The Vengeance of Gable Fitzgerald will again be on sale for $0.99 until May when my next book comes out. If you haven’t read it, this would be a good time. If you have read it, write a review. There’s a sample above.
sticks  gohpl  cover sm2
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About thewritingdeputy

Joel Jurrens was a deputy sheriff for 26 years until he retired in 2013. He has published three novels: In The Sticks, Graves of His Personal Liking and County Ops: The Vengeance of Gable Fitzgerald. He tries to keep his blog light and humorous and sometimes downright silly.
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6 Responses to WRITING A REVIEW

  1. Tim Kinsella says:

    I’ll be expecting a check for $1.63 soon….

  2. agnesalexander100 says:

    I’ve read and reviewed all your books, Joel. I will plan on reading this one, too. Do you mind sharing who the publisher is? Was it Whiskey Creek? I went ahead and signed with them and I’ve been very happy. Best of luck with In The Lake.

  3. I, for one, am very glad you stayed with Wings, Joel. Now we have the distinct honor of having published a book that won the quadfecta (Nobel, Pulitzer, Daytona and Derby). Having talent like yours on board will no doubt bring us many brilliant new writers and perhaps lure some of the lost geniuses back. As an editor at Wings, I can only say I am thrilled at the great review(s) your new In the Lake has received. Well deserved.

  4. agnesalexander100 says:

    Hi Joel, It’s me again.. I recently had another book published with Wings, too. But the reason I’m writing again is to ask if I could post this blog on my blog site. I enjoyed it a lot and I’m sure some of my friends will like it, too. It’s AgnasAlexander.com if you want to check it out.

  5. Agnes, I would be thrilled to have you post it on your blog.

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