I recently attended my forty-fifth high school reunion. It was good to catch up with what people had been doing for all these years, but two things struck me immediately.
First, I do not remember going to school with so many old farts. I admit I was ultra-shy and self-conscious in school, but you would have thought I would have noticed it. The bald heads and gray hair should have been dead giveaways. I guess I paid too much attention to me to notice everyone else, but it embarrasses me to think I couldn’t beat some of these potbellied old geezers in wrestling. And I won’t even get into how amazing it is that they made weight to wrestle in the weight classes they did.
Second, I am convinced there is something in our hometown water. All the men were bald, balding or at least had copious amounts of gray hair, but all the women’s hair were perfect. Hardly a gray hair in sight. I’m thinking there is something in the water—or it’s because they haven’t been living with women all these years.
I’m joking, of course. Ha-ha. If there’s one thing everyone says about the Class of ‘72 is they can take a joke. Ha-ha. Especially those guys who used to hold me down and give me wedgies and swirlies in gym class. And even if they are offended, I won’t see most of them until the fiftieth reunion. I’m sure they’ll have forgotten all about it in five years—I’m counting on dementia kicking in for most of them by then. Ha-ha, I’m joking again. We are all a loooooong ways away from dementia.
(A funny story. In the same building we had our reunion, the Class of ’67 was having their fiftieth reunion. One of my classmates mistakenly went into that room. He said he didn’t recognize anyone, and even the names didn’t seem familiar, but he was thinking, “Man, I’ve aged well.”)
So if you have a chance to go to your class reunion, go. Although we didn’t think about it at the time, it was the last thing we did before our lives began. You’ll be amazed at how people turned out who you were sure would be shepherds or on death row. I’m looking forward to my fiftieth reunion. By then we’ll be discussing hip replacements, brands of adult diapers and what flavor of Ensure is the best. Ha-ha. I’m joking again, of course, but I hear the strawberry Ensure is amazing.