Tag Archives: writing

DIETING TIPS

We have decided that we need to lose some weight, and when I say we I of course mean my wife. I get dragged along with the same enthusiasm the Japanese-Americans had when they jumped on the trains to go … Continue reading

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NUTSO PILLS

My wife talks to the TV. (And not in a way you can understand such as when your football team is on the three-yard line with their butts in the end zone, and the dufus coach calls an end sweep … Continue reading

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THE IRS AND ME

I’m going to jail—federal prison to be exact. I got a call from the IRS the other day. The very stern and serious guy on the phone said they had issued a warrant for my arrest for unpaid taxes, and … Continue reading

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GETTING OLD

I went to the movies the other night and was all excited because I got the seniors’ discount and only had to pay half-price for admission. (There is no surer sign of getting old than being thrilled rather than offended … Continue reading

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MY NON-NAPOLEAN COMPLEX

There are two sets of qualities that make a good leader. One is to be tall with wavy hair, and the other is to be short with an attitude. The latter is called a Napoleon Complex, e.g. Valdimir Putin, Joseph … Continue reading

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PUTTERING AROUND

“So what are your plans for the day,” my wife often asks. I have to have plans. She does things, which normally consist of going to her friends to have coffee or talking to them on the phone. But I … Continue reading

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FIGURE SKATING WITH A FINISH LINE

I’ve been watching some of the winter Olympics, and I’ve decided I don’t like them as well as the summer Olympics. I think it’s because they always have them in the cold weather when everything is covered with ice and … Continue reading

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